Well, here we are. It is March 1st. How can time go by so quickly. The weather here in SoKY continues to be a rollercoaster despite the fact that iris, daffodills and lillies are poking up through the ground already. Yesterday I was up early. Despite the fact that it was 60 outside, it was storming like crazy and pouring rain. Today, it is beautiful and sunny, but only 45.
Yesterday I pulled on my rain boots and grabbed my umbrella to trudge up the hill to class in the pouring rain. I had not been looking forward to doing it, and sure enough the water was washing down the hill in a mini river at my feet. I was so glad I had opted for my green plaid rain boots, despite how ridiculous I looked in them. They kept my feet warm and dry. The hill I have to climb for class is steep. Hubby thinks at least a 30 degree slope. I have found that in order to make it all the way up without passing out, I have to take my time and climb it slowly. My breathing still comes faster, and my heart still pounds, but if I just take it one step at a time, at least I don't feel like I want to pass out when I get to the top. I don't feel lightheaded.
Every day once I get to the top of that hill, I stop at the corner to catch my breath. I don't like the younger kids to see me gasping and wheezing. After that first day when I almost passed out, each time has gotten easier. I have gotten to the point that I actually look forward to it, and just park at the bottom of that big hill without trying to find something closer. Although I am cursing myself the entire way up, when I get to the building I just stand there at the top of that hill and congratulate myself for making it. And for feeling just the least bit better about it than the last time.
Yesterday as I stood there I noticed something else. The college-aged kids who were climbing that hill? They were breathing as hard as I was. I hadn't noticed that before. I stood and watched several of them walk up from the area in which I had parked. They walked slowly, like me. They panted and struggled to breathe, like me. But when they got to the top? They just kept on walking. Some of them are dropped off in cars at the corner by friends, or parents, or the shuttle.
Standing on the stone steps yesterday, watching these kids struggle up that hill, this thought occurred to me: There are times in life when everything is a downhill walk. Everything is rolling so fast it's easy to let things, good or bad, slip away from me. Sometimes I feel as though I am on level ground, and everything is running smoothly. Nothing exciting, just life as normal. Then there are the times I have to climb that hill. It ain't easy. I don't want to. I have to. I consider the options. I consider how to get out of it. I try to park closer, I think of taking the shuttle, the easy way out. But in the end I know the hill will make me strong. The hill will get me to my goal. It's painful, but I am no less likely to make it to the other side than the young kids are.
The difference of wisdom that comes with age? I stand at the top of the hill and appreciate the journey. Appreciate the fact that I made it to the top once more time. Appreciate the fact that I posessed the energy required to get me here. I am smack in the middle of climbing a big hill in life right now. Smack in the middle of some seriously uphill circumstances. They aren't the worst I have faced, but they are frustrating nonetheless. Every day I feel worn out from puffing and panting my way up the hill. Everyday I fight feeling defeated about facing yet another day up the hill. But I keep trudging on, looking back, and appreciating everything and everyone at the end of each day. And looking forward to the downhill walk back to my car.
And now for something completely different...
A friend of mine from a very, very long time ago is celebrating today, and I just wanted to give him a shout out. Christopher Rowe's long-awaited first novel is being released today and I know he's terribly excited. I am putting a link here to the novel on Amazon simply to showcase the cool cover art. Don't hesitate to purchase while you're there.
I don't read SF/Fantasy much (not at all actually) but it's exciting to know a real, live published author. For those of you who do read it, I am sure this novel will not disappoint. It's a Forgotten Realms/WOTC novel that he's been working on for a while so if you're into D&D check it out.
I know I would be over the moon happy if it were me. Well, I will be WHEN it is me. Anway...
Congrats, Christopher. So happy for you! And don't forget I knew you when...