If you can't say something nice, at least make it funny!

Thanks for visiting Tinfoil Magnolia, a blog about my life, times, marriage, friendships and all the strange things that happen to me and with me. I hope you find something here that will encourage you, inspire you or at the least entertain you. And if it doesn't today, check back tomorrow because, my life? honestly...

Thursday, June 30

Clearing Out Cobwebs

Once upon a time in another life, in a galaxy far, far away I was in real estate. Yes, that's right. I was a real estate salesperson. A real estate professional. A Realtor(R). (I don't know how to do the trademark thingie. It's not legal without the trademark thingie. That's the first thing they teach you in real estate school. Please, don't turn me in...)

Now, I really, really enjoyed my life in real estate. I lived in Nashville and I loved Nashville and the surrounding areas. I loved working with my clients, and I met some of the most awesome people! I got to work with first time buyers, people relocating to the area, singles, families, pretty much the whole deal.

Was I a highly successful Realtor? Well, that all depends on how you measure success, but if you're thinking six-figure income? No. If you're thinking that I changed careers, found something I loved to do and enjoyed doing it? Then yes. During my six years in real estate, I had a lot of strange, funny, scary, and interesting things happen to me. Most of which I was happy to share with my fellow Realtors, family and friends. I mean, y'all, I could keep this blog going for months by just posting my exploits.

Last week I got a phone call out of the blue from Realtor friend Debbie. And yes, I have to clarify that it is Realtor friend Debbie in Nashville, not Realtor friend Debbie in KY because, yes, I have 2 very good friends who are both very successful realtors and both named Debbie. Cause that's how my life is.

I hadn't heard from Debbie (nashville) in a long while, so I was happy to see her number pop up on my caller ID. When I answered the phone I was immediately met with this phrase:

"Well.....you'll never believe who I just got out of a meeting with." said Debbie (nashville) with a teasing tone in her voice.

Now, the thing you have to know, this girl sells a lot of homes. A lot of high dollar homes. It could be anyone. It could have been one of the Titans or Oprah or Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban for all I know.

Laughing I said "I don't know...who?"

She said his name, which I didn't recognize. When I questioned "who?" she laughed and said simply, "TOWEL GUY???"

I didn't have to think even another second. I immediately knew who she meant and I was taken back to an event that happened almost 6 years ago.

"Oh, no! Oh, my gosh!" was all I could say.

When I was a young agent, and didn't have a lot going on, Debbie would let me work open house for her at one of her listings. Since I worked mostly with buyers, this was a good arrangement for both of us. One summer, she had been telling me all about this client she had and how cute he was and his wife was blonde and cute and they were so perfect and nice and just the cutest couple ever.

She told me how he looked just like David James Elliott (from JAG) and on and on and on.  One week she asked me "Would you like to do an open house this weekend?"

"Sure!" I said.

"It's at the JAG guy's house!!!" she said

"NO! Really? Do I get to meet him???" I asked. To which she said that she hoped he'd still be there when I arrived so that I could see him.

Now, anyone who knows me well knows I have one fault. (only one I say, laughing) I am rarely early for anything. However, when I started in real estate I was totally determined not to fall into the stereotypical late-for-everything realtor, screeching in the driveway, on the cell phone, etc. So I had over the past 3 years made it my habit to always arrive at least 30 minutes prior to an open house on Sunday afternoon, just to get things set up and get myself calmed down.

So the open house was from 2-4 and I pulled up at the home a little before 1:30. Yes, of course, I check my hair and lipstick in the mirror before I walk up to the front door and ring the bell. I was expecting it to be no more than a formality, normally people were long gone by the time I arrived. I rang the bell, pulled out my keypad and was poised to open the lockbox when the door suddenly swung wide open, startling me.

Before me stood a man. A beautiful man. Wearing nothing. But. A towel. And a smile. A rather small towel, I thought, to be answering the door in.  But there he was in all his glory, and looking not at all disturbed that an older woman was standing fully clothed at his door.

"ummmm....hi.....Debbie sent me?" It was more a question than a statement. I had lost all sense of propriety and professionalism the moment that door opened. All I could think was "eye contact. eye contact. you must maintain eye contact!"

He did look like David James Elliott. If David James Elliott were 28 and PERFECT.  in EVERY way! Then he smiled and said "Oh! Hey! Yeah! Come in, please. Just come on in and wait, we're just now getting out of the shower."

note: "we're" just getting out of the shower. implying that they were in the shower.....together.....it didn't escape my notice.

"Um. Yeah. I noticed, I am SO sorry. I must be terribly early." I said, and I could feel the blood rushing to my face. "I will come back!"

"Awww, no! Just come on in, it's fiiine." he said amiably, as if nothing were out of the ordinary. "My wife is just putting her makeup on and we'll be out of your hair!"

"No." I gestured with my hands in the universal symbol for 'I'm not changing my mind' "No. I am going. I am getting in my car. I will leave. And come back."

"Are you sure? You are more than welcome to wait!"

I took one final glance at the Addonis-like body, small towel wrapped around his sculpted waist, muscular thighs exposed. Finally I raised my gaze to his beautiful eyes and sighed.

"No. I am going, I will be back in 30 minutes." And I turned around, returning to my car.

I immediately called Debbie (nashville) and told her the entire story. First, she screeched "I CAN'T BELIEVE you saw him in nothing but a towel!!!"

Then? She started laughing. And I am pretty sure she was still laughing 30 minutes later when I returned to the house at 2:01, just to be sure they were dressed and gone.

So this week she called to tell me. She had a meeting with towel guy. Who is still in his perfect marriage and now has perfect kids and the perfect house, job, car and life.

I had pizza for dinner and worried about getting to the gym to work off the extra calories. I have about 40 pounds to lose and an 8 year old car that (thank goodness) is paid for. My husband and I are not sculpted like Greek gods. Decidedly not "HWP", as they say in personal ads. We struggle with money issues. But my life? It is what it is. It's not perfect, I am not perfect. But I love it.

Sure wouldn't mind a glimpse of that guy in a towel again, though.


  1. welcome back to writing


  2. This was a great tale for your return... it was good to see you show up in my Reader.