The Unusual One (in Which I Preach and Alienate)

Every year on 9/11 I take a moment, light a candle, and remember. As if I could forget. But you know, if you didn't lose anyone that day, if you were that fortunate, you just don't think of it everyday. There are those who are forced to think of it. Who are without their children, parents, husbands wives, on and on it goes. All those people were just there to work. Even the first responders who never made it out. They started their day as they would have any other.

I am not, as most of you know, a "religious" person. But I remember standing in front of the small tv in my bedroom that morning 9 years ago and staring at the picture. I couldn't believe what was happening.I remember the quiet outside our home when all flights were grounded and we no longer had the BNA flight pattern buzzing overhead. I will never forget how erie that was. I remember taking food and cases of water to the airport, to people who were stuck there. I felt helpless, as if there was nothing I could do that was "big" enough. I ended up lighting a candle each day and saying a few quiet words to wish peace for those people and their families, and send healing energy their way. I continued this pattern for weeks, possibly months. I don't even remember how long now. But every year on 9/11 I still light a candle.


There is so much fur flying right now over this church in Florida. The thing I can not for the life of me figure out is this, how does this help ANYTHING? It just seems hateful and spiteful and pointless to me. In the immediate post-911 days we all felt our country pulling together. We felt it growing closer, stronger. Or was it just me? Now, nine years later, I don't think I could have imagined then the divisive world we live in now, despite so many steps forward. 


One of the biggest problems I have these days is the attitude that seems to be taken up by so many people who fit into the white middle class, such as myself. I guess that is why I notice it so much-because these are the people I am around most. It is almost like someone has to lose in order for them to win. Like if I get paid, I feel better that someone has to do without. If someone else gets something, then I resent them because it probably comes at a cost to me. This is such a negative perspective and bothers me in so many ways, but specifically when it is coming from self-proclaimed "christian" people and aimed at folks who mark "non-white" in the racial survey box. Or "non-christian" in the religion box.


Why can't we just all be humans? Why is it more offensive for African Americans to be on welfare than white trash? Some people need help, they need a hand. Why aren't Muslims in Murfreesboro allowed to build a mosque in which to worship when "mega churches" are on every corner? Is their religion excluded from that freedom? Why don't women have the right to make decisions about their own bodies (still)? How does it hurt me or my marriage if gay men and women can marry? It doesn't. (As Dolly says, they have every right to be miserable like the rest of us.)


 I read a quote weeks ago, Tweeted by the Dali Lama. That's right you read that right, the Dalai Lama (or someone representative) actually tweets. I have been thinking about this ever since:

"We can’t overcome anger and hatred by simply suppressing them. We need to actively cultivate their antidotes, patience and tolerance." The Dalai Lama via Twitter

With all the hatred out there masquerading as "core American" values, I had to stop and really think about this one. What would the world be like if we just exercise patience and tolerance rather than anger and hatred? Yes, they are things I have issues with myself. Specifically patience, and specifically when it comes to achieving a goal. I am the queen of instant gratification. But tolerance, I find a whole lot easier. Everyone has their own path to walk in this life. My path can intersect, be made easier or more difficult, run parallel or overlap with other people from time to time but ultimately what I believe is this. At the end of the road, what ever it may be, I hope sincerely that I have always dealt with people in an honest and straightforward fashion, and have always worked to improve others' lives and not make them more difficult. No matter how they choose to treat me. That is not my journey, it is theirs. It is not my business to judge them on the steps they are taking to fulfill their purpose. Can I always do this? Of course not. Do I always attempt to do this? Yes, I really, truly do. Sometimes I fail miserably, but I try to treat everyone with the respect and dignity I feel they deserve as a human being. They can lose it. Don't get me wrong, but I just don't think everyone has to "earn" it. It costs me nothing to give it to them, to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Guys, anger and hatred is sweeping through our country like wildfire. Please can we work on some tolerance and patience? I am afraid to think what will happen if we don't at least try. Wouldn't it be the "christian" thing to do? Wouldn't it be the "humanist" thing to do? Wouldn't it simply be the humane thing to do?