Day 1. I have no TV shame.

I have been a television addict from the beginning. I have no problem admitting it. As much as I love to read, and I do LOVE to read, I also love me some TV. When I was a kid, I would read the TV guide cover to cover, complete the crossword, and memorize the schedules for every night of the week. This isn't as big a feat as it may seem to some when you consider that we had like 5 channels back in my prehistoric, pre-cable childhood.

I lived for the nights when there was a "block" of shows so I didn't have to get up to change the channel. Back then, kids didn't have their own television. In fact, there was only one in the house. In our house anyway. So the entire family had to watch the same thing. If I had a channel change in my preferred lineup there was always a chance that my mom or dad would veto it and I would end up missing "Welcome Back, Kotter" or "The Bionic Woman". And oh, lord, the summertime when nothing was on but baseball for what seemed like weeks on end. That could account for my disdain for the sport as an adult.

I am pretty open with what I watch or don't watch on TV. I have friends who are appalled at the amount of TV I watch, and friends who probably watch more than I do. I watch all sorts of reality TV like Big Brother, Survivor and the Amazing Race. But I also reject other shows like The Bachelor/ette, The Biggest Loser, Real Housewives and Dancing with the Stars. I am all over some American Pickers, Antiques Roadshow, Storage Wars and my newest obsession, Auction Kings.  I HATE stuff like Jon & Kate, Sister Wives and all of those baby and pregnancy related shows. Ugh. Probably my biggest current guilty pleasure is Mob Wives. It's like the best. Ever.

But with today's confession I want to go back in time to 1998 to the only show I have ever watched and hidden the fact that I watched it. My husband and I had been married about 4 years and were in our first home. We bought a new TV for the living room and put our old one in hubby's office upstairs along with his computer. Now I have to admit, I was late to the party, and I didn't ever get on the computer at home back then. (I know some of you will find this hard to believe) So the office was all his. It wasn't unusual for him to go up there to either watch the History channel in peace or play games on the computer.

I got used to having the living room television to myself and started watching a particular show. For some reason hubby was always upstairs watching something else on Wednesdays at the same time, and I didn't want him to know that I was watching this show. It was sort of cheesy, campy, and probably I was way too old to be interested in it. I was embarrassed to admit to him or to anyone that I tuned into "Charmed" every single week and watched the three sisters named Prue, Piper and Phoebe fight demons using terrible special effects and embarrassing sound effects. I was totally addicted and I have to admit, I am getting embarrassed to even admit it now, years later.

Look at Shannen.
She's so deliciously bitchy!

Now, I have to admit that I only ever started watching this show because of Shannen Doherty. I fully admit to having a girl crush on her that goes all the way back to the movie "Heathers" in the late '80's. Of course I was a HUGE Beverly Hills 90210 fan like everyone else my age in the early 90's. But since Brenda left her twin Brandon, boyfriend Dylan, and bff Kelly for London, I just didn't get enough of the bad girl Shannen. Yes, she's the original hot mess. Impossible, temperamental, and a little bit crazy. But aren't we all?

So back to Charmed. One night I was watching it, after several months of hiding from hubby. He happened to walk through on his way upstairs and caught the opening sequence, much to my embarrassment. He smiled at me and I was expecting a smart ass remark. 

"Have you been watching Charmed all this time?" he asked.

"I.. um...well....sometimes, maybe, yeah." I stammered.

He started laughing and said, "That's what I've been going upstairs to watch every Wednesday night. I didn't think you'd like it!"

Turns out he had a thing for Alyssa Milano ever since she was Sam on "Who's the Boss". Ever since that day, we practice full disclosure with our little TV indiscretions. Just because you never know. 

My life, honestly....

My So-Called Life

My mom always came up with plenty of creative activities to keep us busy. She was home with us until we were both in school. And even then she was always home with us after school. She hosted Girl Scout meetings and birthday cookouts, Halloween parties and sleepovers. We did crafts, went for walks and gardened with her. I say all this because I just don't remember being one of those kids who was put in front of the television as a way of being kept occupied. Of course the best we had back then was View Master anyway. Yes, kiddies, this was pre-VCR, Beta, DVD, etc. ('Cause I'm young like that.) Anyway, my mom was always involved with us. Despite all that, despite my love of reading, maybe even because of it, I became enamored with the television and everything it stood for. I grew up on television.

I was a voracious reader from a very young age. My parents rarely read anything other than sales journals, magazines or the bible. (yep, Palin-style). They didn't ever get, and don't to this day, my love of books. But my mom did her best to keep me stocked up on Whitman books and anything else age-appropriate that should could buy second-hand. Some of those book I remember reading 3 or 4 times at least. Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, Trixie Belden, they were oldies but I loved them. I had bookshelves in my room stocked to the rafters. But when I ran out of something to read, and I did frequently, I watched television.

I became embroiled in the happenings, attached to the characters knew the weekly schedules by heart. Of course, in the pre-cable stone age we only had 5 channels and that included PBS but still. (UHF!!! Right?!) I remember watching Wide, Wide World of Sports on Sunday afternoon. I remember being allowed to stay up "late" (past 9) for Carol Burnett on Saturday nights. And who could forget the movies every Sunday evening on The Wonderful World of Disney? Just seeing Tinkerbelle fly across the screen you knew this was something you were watching just for you. A kid. Once a week.

Afternoons after school it was Gilligan's Island, The Brady Bunch and a whole load of cartoons like Tom & Jerry and Woody Woodpecker. And through the week I watched things like Happy Days, Welcome Back Kotter, and Little House on the Prarie. Back then, there was little that was off limits. But there was only 1 TV in the house. And believe me, if dad didn't want to watch it I didn't see it. There was no TiVo or DVR.

I always wanted to be on television when I was a kid. Not an actor–literally in a television show. At Al's with Richie Cunningham, or the basement apartment from Laverne and Shirley, or on the island with Robinson Crusoe.  I wanted a cool mom and dad like Mike and Carol Brady (although now that seems debatable, the cool part). I wanted to go live with Doris Day and her father and that big, shaggy dog Nelson. Sometimes I pretended I was in those shows. I wished I could do magic like Samantha and Tabitha.

To this day I have issues with expecting life to be like a television show. Nice and tidy, all wrapped up within 60 minutes or less. Problems should resolve, hijinx should ensue, or magic should happen. My friends should be like Monica and Rachel. ('cause let's face it, I am the Phoebe here). My workplace should be like Ally McBeal's, filled with interesting and unusual characters. But alas. Life is life, I really do realize that. I do have to go to WalMart. I don't have money for that fabulous feather wreath I found. My husband, though he loves me more than life itself, doesn't know how to do "romantic gestures".  I have a mountain of bills to pay.

So what if my mom is more like Roseanne than Doris Day? So what if my friends are more like Designing Women than Sex and the City. This life of mine? It is all I have. I am learning to appreciate everything and everyone in it. One of the hardest things in the world? Accepting people for who they are, where they are. I really do like my life, but I still wouldn't mind living in the TV for a week or so. Especially since we haven't had a vacation in 2 years. My life...