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Thanks for visiting Tinfoil Magnolia, a blog about my life, times, marriage, friendships and all the strange things that happen to me and with me. I hope you find something here that will encourage you, inspire you or at the least entertain you. And if it doesn't today, check back tomorrow because, my life? honestly...

Thursday, January 3


I am only making one New Year's resolution. NO New Year's resolutions. Ever.

I just don't do it anymore, I don't believe in it. Oh, sure, I used to sit down each and every Dec. 31 and make a list of what I wanted to change in the New Year. The possibilities open to me were endless on that last day of the year. And like with everything in my life, I over committed.

Which means I failed, because no one could ever have kept all those resolutions.

Today I happened upon a blog when I was searching for details on a project I was doing. I was reading her current post, it was a blog I hadn't seen before and someone I don't know. But I glanced down the list at past blog posts and saw one titled "Resolutions 2011: No dessert for a year." Needless to say that caught my attention.

"Wow!" I thought. "No dessert for a whole year? I can't even imagine." I was fully prepared to be impressed that she had actually done it. Gone an entire year without dessert. Not on a birthday, or easter or July 4 or Thanksgiving. No cake, ice cream, pie, or pudding? Wow. That's a serious commitment. So I clicked on the post.

It was dated Feb. 28, 2011. "I have given up on the no desserts for a year."

Yep, that sounds about right.

It turns out that really what she wanted was weight loss. And giving up desserts wasn't getting her there. This was interesting to me because I know when I used to make resolutions they were always so very specific. And I know people tell you when you set goals they have to be specific-heaven knows I took enough seminars and classes when I was in real estate to learn that.

But sometimes I think we have to really think about why we want what we want. Because honestly? I don't think we're ever honest about it with ourselves or anyone else, for that matter.

Why do I want that new purse? Because I want a purse like all my friends carry.
Why do I get those new boots? Because my co-worker wears boots all the time and looks so cute.
Why do I think I should exercise? Because all the cool/fun/cute/popular girls do it.
Why do I want to lose weight? So boys will notice me. So I can wear that cute dress. So I can be smaller than my friend. etc., etc.

On and on it goes. Now there's nothing wrong with any of these things. But I think the issue is we aren't honest with ourselves about the WHY.

So I looked up the word resolution. It is a noun, a thing. A decision. Well, I've NEVER been good at making those!

resolution n.
1. the act or an instance of resolving
2. the condition or quality of being resolute; firmness or determination
3. something resolved or determined; decision
4. a formal expression of opinion by a meeting, esp one agreed by a vote
5. (Law) a judicial decision on some matter; verdict; judgment
6. the act or process of separating something into its constituent parts or elements
(I'm leaving out the medical, musical and legal definitions)

Then, on a whim I looked up resolute. An adjective.

resolute adj.
1. firm in purpose or belief; steadfast
2. characterized by resolution; determined a resolute answer
From Latin resolutus, from resolvere

Hmmm. Firm in purpose or belief. Now that sounds like me. It's more an attitude than a decision. And I have attitude. So I was thinking that perhaps adopting a resolute belief in what I want accomplished, then changing my actions to get there might just be the way to go.

Pick the big goal, the end game, the final outcome. Your path might change throughout the year as to how it is accomplished. But keep the resolute faith that you will accomplish it somehow.

For example in the above resolution, the end result she wanted was weight loss. Attack that with a resolute attitude. Try changing diet, try exercise, keep pushing until it's gone, yeah? I don't know. I just feel like resolving to not eat dessert for a year is a losing proposition whereas remaining determined to be healthy and taking steps in that direction is much more easily accomplished.

Either way, I am going to adopt a resolute attitude to change the things about myself that are a worry to me. I will do the best I can during the year this year. My blog needs attention, I need to finish my novel, I have to stop over committing, I should learn to enjoy some down-time, I want to improve my mental outlook. All of these are things that are in my control.

But what do I know? A friend called me out the other day on my commitment issues and you know what? She is totally right. So maybe this is just a way to dodge another commitment.

What do you think? Honestly....

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