Here I Go Again

OK... so... well... my intentions were good. Yesterday I got home and was surfing around wondering how I could kick my own arse into sitting down and writing every day like I used to. Taking that class this spring completely threw my life out of kilter, worst idea ever.

I don't care if it is a return to my partially completed novel, or the memoir I started this spring, renewing my commitment to this blog or actually posting the first thing on my other (and basically so far non existent) blog, "The Graphic Des-winer" in which (the idea was) I pick wines for the quality of their label design then review them and rate the quality of the wine to the quality of the design on the label. I need to do something. I need to be writing. Not just want. Need.

I had been thinking about this all week, and yesterday like magic a post shows up in my Twitter feed. NaBloPoMo. It's a project on BlogHer that started as a goof off  on NaNoWriMo. The goal is to post something to your blog every day for a month. The idea is to get you in the daily writing habit.

Well, everyone knows I am a sucker for a challenge like this, and it was the first day of a new month, so I immediately sign up. At 6pm. On July 1. Before I know it, it's 10 pm, time for bed, and although I have been thinking about what to post I have already missed the very first day of the challenge.

This time, though, I am going to try a new outlook. Rather than saying "I missed the first day, why bother?" I am going to keep going and say "Well, July still has 30 days and that's 30 days of writing, repetition, and habit-making." This will be a very new approach for me, this sort of mind set. I am the world's worst "all or nothing" type person. If I am going to do something, whether it is a job,  a volunteer commitment, taking a class, or just my silly challenges, I am going to do it well. If I can't I won't do it. I won't finish. I will quit if I can't be/do/give 100%. Why bother?

I am not at all suggesting that this is an admirable mindset. In fact, it's quite the opposite. It keeps me from trying and doing a lot of things. It slows me down and stresses me out. It causes me to be unable to shortcut anything.

Now, I am not at all saying shortcuts are good or admirable. However, sometimes doing a light 15 minute quickie cleanup on your office is better than being overwhelmed and not cleaning up at all. Letting things pile up for months because you don't know where to start or don't have the tools (or skills) to organize all the junk and papers that are piling up.

It's just like with my existing non-existent blog. I have to start somewhere, but the fear that my post will be less than great keeps me from posting at all. Meanwhile it's just been sitting there. For almost a year. Waiting on me. Much like this blog has been for months now.

Well, so here we go. I plan to post every day and not just scrap the entire month because I missed July 1 posting. I will use the daily prompts if needed. Also, I will get back into the 100 Word Challenge because I enjoy it. Because I need it. And because those peeps are the closest thing to a writing group I have right now.

I look forward to seeing you all a lot more and hope to have you comment on the things I am writing. I have a lot of fun things planned in my head, most of which I may throw out half-baked just to push myself. Check out the link on the right hand column of my page for more about NaBloPoMo and a blogroll of who is participating. It should be fun!

Where Does My November Go? NaNoWriMo

This spring I went through a little bit of a jump start, creativity wise. I got energized, excited about writing and actually committing to writing, not just talking about it like I have done for the last so many years. Starting this blog was one of the commitments I made to provide myself with a creative outlet. I committed to spend a minimum of 2 hours each day writing. I began a novel. It now sits, printed, over 80,000 words yet still unfinished, in the corner of my office.

Over the summer, a lot of my attention has been diverted to other things. Diet and exercise, starting a new business, securing freelance design work, and working on a lot of not-for-pay jobs. I have spent time doing things that needed to be done, thinking about things and how to do them and yet not getting them done, or just doing things I enjoy simply to enjoy them and forgetting about everything else. In May, during a particularly ambitious burst, I signed up to participate in National Novel Writing Month, affectionately known as NaNoWriMo or just NaNo, which is held annually in November. I was giddy.

And now it's November. In two days. I have had trouble being stressed and mentally I am just not at my best, or at least not the best I have been this year. Personally it has been both a wonderful and rewarding year and also an incredibly stressful one, for many different reasons. I am having trouble focusing my energy and getting a grip on all the things I have to get done in a day. As I tend to do when I am overwhelmed, I end up spending hours every day drifting aimlessly, hovering on the Internet, participating in Tweet Chats and many other pointless activities that, truthfully, should be at the bottom of my list. (or not on the list at all)

Because of this lack of focus, an enormous to-do list, and hours that I owe to my new business now that it is finally getting a good start, I had made a decision not to do NaNo after all. No one else knew of my commitment. I could quit and who would know anyway? Who would even care? I could write a novel at any time, couldn't I? And besides, I couldn't imagine for the life of me what I would write about. I didn't want to rehash what I already started, and continuing on that seemed like a cheat. I was barren of ideas. The harder I tried to think of something the worse it got.


Enter: some of my online writing buddies over at the 100 Word Challenge. Velvet Verbosity posted about her intention to participate this year (with the most serendipitous timing) right after I posted a comment about committing and then not wanting to do it. I had several comments and messages telling me that, yes, I needed to go on and do it. Yes, I can do it. And yes, I should do it. People (you know who you are) cajoled, encouraged, guilted, and otherwise assured me that the sky wouldn't fall if I didn't complete my 50,000 words by November 30.

So, I am doing NaNo. My writer friends (real and virtual) will realize the commitment required. My non-writer friends should just trust me and be willing to encourage me if at all possible.  Once I committed mentally (and via Twitter) the basic line of my story came flying into my head within a day or so. Which only goes to show the power of thought and putting your desires out into the universe. This is kind of a big deal. It is a huge commitment of time and energy and I don't take it lightly. All I have to do to "win" is finish the 50,000 words. But the joy of reaching that goal will be all the reward I need.