Sacrifice, Willpower & Coffee Creamer

For the past week I have returned to my very strict diet in order to lose the last bit of weight that I wanted to lose. I have had to give up anything with sugar, artificial sweeteners, fat, oil, and starches. I have given up diet soda for green tea,  salad dressings for vinegar or lemon juice. I have given up cheese, donuts, italian bread, pasta, in favor of lean meats, veggies and fruit. My candy, Mike & Ikes, gummy worms, chewy caramel and chocolate. I have given up alchohol, y'all. All of which is fine. Really. I can do anything if I know it works, and I know this works.

 I go out to eat with friends and watch them eat fried foods while I have a plain salad. Watch them have a beer while I sip lemon water. None of it has bothered me. Last summer when I did my first 6 week stint on this diet, no one was more surprised than I at my iron willpower. I don't begrudge giving up anything, it's just food after all. And I know if I stick with it I will lose weight. However, there is one small exception. 

I would sell my soul right now to be able to put some creamer in my coffee. It surprises me how overwhelming the urge, need, craving is to have it. It isn't that I don't like the flavor of coffee, I do. It's just SO much more pleasurable to me with creamer in it. I love the color, I love the taste, it even changes the smell. I know it is a psychological thing, but of all things to struggle with, this one has surprised me.

I value my morning coffee. I am notorious for not being able to do without it, come what may. I will not substitute a soda or anything just for the caffeine. It is something about having that steaming hot mug of coffee in the morning that just makes my day start off right. If my coffee isn't good, I am grumpy. If I don't get enough, I am listless. And if I don't get creamer, I am unsatisfied.

Last time I was on this diet I thought, “after spending 6 weeks drinking coffee without creamer I think maybe I will keep doing it.” That lasted one day. If even that.

I know, I make this sound like some enormous sacrifice. And really, it isn't. In the grand scheme of life, it's a minute detail that simply makes life....comfortable,  predictable and easier to deal with. I think of my friend Brownie who had triple bypass 3 weeks ago. I think of all that she's going through during recovery and how she is kicking ass and taking names. What a strong woman! I am so proud of her and her recovery. 

And I think that if she can kick ass on heart disease, I can give up my stupid creamer for 6 weeks. How ridiculous to be pining away for something so stupid. And yet, at night, I dream of once again having my beloved creamer. Pouring into my coffee like so much delicious pleasure right there in my cup. 

MMMMMMMM. Honestly..... 

Magnolia

Today's post is my entry into this week's 100 Word Challenge, hosted by Velvet Verbosity. The 100 Word Challenge is an exercise in which we write exactly 100 words in response to the weekly prompt word. Click the link to read the other entries–good stuff over there! 

This week's prompt was "voice". My entry is an excerpt from a biographical essay I wrote recently.

There was a large magnolia tree in the front yard of her home. The red haired girl loved to crawl under the limbs of the tree. In the humid southern summers it provided cool shade and she would lie there for hours daydreaming and watching the sun move through the dense foliage.

When she was old enough to read she spent days on end sitting there with a Nancy Drew mystery in her hands and the sweet aroma of the blossoms surrounding her like a blanket. She would stay under her tree until her mother's voice called her for dinner.

Help

Today's post is my entry into this week's 100 Word Challenge, hosted by Velvet Verbosity. The 100 Word Challenge is an exercise in which we write exactly 100 words in response to the weekly prompt word. Click the link to read the other entries–good stuff over there! 

This week's prompt was "cuffs".

Embarrassing moments? I've had a few. Take for instance one evening, after a party, when I sat in an overstuffed chair at my sister-in-law's house. 

The longer I sat there the more the room was spinning. The edges blurred, and the conversations coming from the women surrounding me became background noise. On my lap sat a plain, brown paper bag, designed to conceal the evening's purchases.

Apparently, it became too much for me to resist. Several minutes, and much paper rustling later, I had to make the statement: “Could someone...come help me....get out of these cuffs?”

Redefine

Today's post is my entry into this week's 100 Word Challenge, hosted by Velvet Verbosity. The 100 Word Challenge is an exercise in which we write exactly 100 words in response to the weekly prompt word. Click the link to read the other entries–good stuff over there! 

Much love and thanks to Velvet for choosing my post last week. This week's prompt was "sleek".



Maggie felt the silk slide over her skin, soft as morning dew on the petals of a flower.

“That's hot!” said the salesgirl. “It makes your body so sleek and sexy.”

“Sleek?” she mused out loud.

“Yes, sleek. Sleek is good, like a jungle cat.”

“No. Sleek is....well....sleek. I don't do sleek. I'm more a 'rough around the edges' kind of girl,”  declared Maggie. “Y'know? Unfinished, unrefined, undone. Never sleek. Sexy-messy. Now, that. Is me.” she said, pointing to an edgy linen pantsuit hanging nearby.

“Yeah, well. Sexy-messy never got anyone a man.” muttered the clerk.

Revealed

Today's post is my entry into this week's 100 Word Challenge, hosted by Velvet Verbosity. The 100 Word Challenge is an exercise in which we write exactly 100 words in response to the weekly prompt word. Click the link to read the other entries–good stuff over there!

This week's prompt was "ample".


She stood before him exposed, allowing him to see what would normally be skillfully camouflaged. A lifetime of being ashamed of her ample body caused her to tremble and bow her head, aware of his scrutinizing gaze. But the look on his face was worshipful as his glance swept her from head to toe.


“You're so sexy,” he whispered.


As he reached out a hand to caress her face, pushing a strand of hair from her cheek, she realized she could trust him. She raised her eyes to meet his, a soft smile touched her lips. What was that feeling?




Join the blog hop and check out these other entries into this week's challenge!

That Guy

Today's post is my entry into this week's 100 Word Challenge, hosted by Velvet Verbosity. The 100 Word Challenge is an exercise in which we write exactly 100 words in response to the weekly prompt word. Click the link to read the other entries–good stuff over there! 

This week's prompt was "gratuitous". 

What he doesn't know is that he no longer means anything to me. His syrupy, sticky-sweet charm, full of gratuitous compliments, no longer pulls me into his orbit. Now, I see it for what it is. Simply a drama, a one-act play, a one-note song which only grows more tedious once you've heard it over and over.

Now I see him for what he is. The man walks away, leaves his children, and never looks back. He spends his life in pursuit of a grandiose dream that will never come to fruition. A sad, pitiful man.

Climbing the Hill

Well, here we are. It is March 1st. How can time go by so quickly. The weather here in SoKY continues to be a rollercoaster despite the fact that iris, daffodills and lillies are poking up through the ground already. Yesterday I was up early. Despite the fact that it was 60 outside, it was storming like crazy and pouring rain. Today, it is beautiful and sunny, but only 45.

Yesterday I pulled on my rain boots and grabbed my umbrella to trudge up the hill to class in the pouring rain. I had not been looking forward to doing it, and sure enough the water was washing down the hill in a mini river at my feet. I was so glad I had opted for my green plaid rain boots, despite how ridiculous I looked in them. They kept my feet warm and dry. The hill I have to climb for class is steep. Hubby thinks at least a 30 degree slope. I have found that in order to make it all the way up without passing out, I have to take my time and climb it slowly. My breathing still comes faster, and my heart still pounds, but if I just take it one step at a time, at least I don't feel like I want to pass out when I get to the top. I don't feel lightheaded.

Every day once I get to the top of that hill, I stop at the corner to catch my breath. I don't like the younger kids to see me gasping and wheezing. After that first day when I almost passed out, each time has gotten easier. I have gotten to the point that I actually look forward to it, and just park at the bottom of that big hill without trying to find something closer. Although I am cursing myself the entire way up, when I get to the building I just stand there at the top of that hill and congratulate myself for making it. And for feeling just the least bit better about it than the last time.

Yesterday as I stood there I noticed something else. The college-aged kids who were climbing that hill? They were breathing as hard as I was. I hadn't noticed that before. I stood and watched several of them walk up from the area in which I had parked. They walked slowly, like me. They panted and struggled to breathe, like me. But when they got to the top? They just kept on walking. Some of them are dropped off in cars at the corner by friends, or parents, or the shuttle.

Standing on the stone steps yesterday, watching these kids struggle up that hill, this thought occurred to me: There are times in life when everything is a downhill walk. Everything is rolling so fast it's easy to let things, good or bad, slip away from me. Sometimes I feel as though I am on level ground, and everything is running smoothly. Nothing exciting, just life as normal. Then there are the times I have to climb that hill. It ain't easy. I don't want to. I have to. I consider the options. I consider how to get out of it. I try to park closer, I think of taking the shuttle, the easy way out. But in the end I know the hill will make me strong. The hill will get me to my goal. It's painful, but I am no less likely to make it to the other side than the young kids are.

The difference of wisdom that comes with age? I stand at the top of the hill and appreciate the journey. Appreciate the fact that I made it to the top once more time. Appreciate the fact that I posessed the energy required to get me here. I am smack in the middle of climbing a big hill in life right now. Smack in the middle of some seriously uphill circumstances. They aren't the worst I have faced, but they are frustrating nonetheless. Every day I feel worn out from puffing and panting my way up the hill. Everyday I fight feeling defeated about facing yet another day up the hill. But I keep trudging on, looking back, and appreciating everything and everyone at the end of each day. And looking forward to the downhill walk back to my car.

And now for something completely different...


A friend of mine from a very, very long time ago is celebrating today, and I just wanted to give him a shout out. Christopher Rowe's long-awaited first novel is being released today and I know he's terribly excited. I am putting a link here to the novel on Amazon simply to showcase the cool cover art. Don't hesitate to purchase while you're there. 


I don't read SF/Fantasy much (not at all actually) but it's exciting to know a real, live published author.  For those of you who do read it, I am sure this novel will not disappoint. It's a Forgotten Realms/WOTC novel that he's been working on for a while so if you're into D&D check it out.


I know I would be over the moon happy if it were me. Well, I will be WHEN it is me. Anway...


Congrats, Christopher. So happy for you! And don't forget I knew you when...