If you can't say something nice, at least make it funny!

Thanks for visiting Tinfoil Magnolia, a blog about my life, times, marriage, friendships and all the strange things that happen to me and with me. I hope you find something here that will encourage you, inspire you or at the least entertain you. And if it doesn't today, check back tomorrow because, my life? honestly...

Thursday, February 3

But How Was YOUR Day?

Well, I just won an online giveaway over at Jana's Thinking Place and got the cutest bag ever courtesy of WalMart Gourmet! So I am giving them back a little link-lovin' as thanks. Maybe someday I will be able to sponsor a giveaway when someone gives me something fabulous to, well, give away. Perhaps that is what I should do with all this stuff I cleaned out of my closet earlier in the year.

So this officially makes today much better than yesterday. Why? You might ask. Well, yesterday was just a strange day. I drove the 30 minutes to get to the university where I am taking a class. One. Class. For which I have to walk up the never ending hill. On my way, I stopped at the corner Walgreens to pick up a couple of things. I had about 15 minutes to spare before I had to be on campus so I thought I could pop in, get what I needed and be out in about 5.

So, I pull into the parking lot and park one space over from this older model car. It isn't exactly this car, but pretty similar.

Not that it matters, but this car wasn't in this good of a shape. So as I get out of my car I notice a pair of gloves lying in the parking lot right next to the car. There is a lady sitting in the driver's seat with the engine running and a little white dog sitting beside her. I pick up the gloves and hold them up to the window, mouthing "are these yours?" and she nods, gesturing to me to open the car door.

When I do. Oh. Emmm. Geeee. I am hit with a wall of what smells to me like cat pee. The entire car smells of it. Reeks to high heaven. Now, I guess it could have been dog pee, but the only animal urine I am familiar with is that of cats, so that is all I have to compare it to. Seriously, I couldn't believe she could sit in that car as bad as it smelled. How could she breathe? So I smile weakly and say "someone will be missing these!" Trying to be chipper. "Oh, thank you, my daughter just ran inside" she responds and starts to say something else. I am about to pass out from the stench of urine, so I toss the gloves on the seat and say "have a nice day!" smile and push the door shut.

So I enter the drug store and immediately start looking around trying to determine which person in the store is the woman's daughter, 'cause that's just how I am. I had a couple suspects in mind but as I walked toward the pharmacy in the back it hit me. Oh, GOD, the smell. I am gonna be dead of the smell. The woman who walked past me had to be the daughter, wrapped up in a coat and hood and looking like the grown up version of Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club, sans intervention by Molly Ringwald. Yep, this woman totally shook her dandruff all over her artwork. And the smell? Lingered in the aisle where she had just been. It reeked. And I had to stand in that aisle to find my headache remedy.

Y'all. How do people do that? Seriously. I do not get it. I thought I would vomit from the stench. I just don't know how you get to the point where you either don't notice or don't care.

Then, to top it off, once I get my item and head to the checkout. The coupon queen is, of course, in front of me. And all her coupons are extremely specific. And she's about 80, and has bought something wrong for almost all of them. 

And the manager is standing there saying "No, ma'am. You got the 10 oz. and this is for the 8 oz. You want me to get the 8 oz. for you? No problem. I will be right back." 

Me, thinking: **what? NO, NO!!!!**

and then "No, ma'am. This is for the white albacore tuna, not the regular tuna? And you got the regular. you want me to go get the white albacore for you? OK, be right back."

Me: **Bloody Hell!!!! Are you kidding me?***

Lady: "Do you have this distilled water? I didn't see any."
Manager: "Oh, yes we do. I will get it for you. It was on the endcap so you probably didn't see it. I'll be right back."
Lady: "I need three of them."

Me, in my head: **AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGHHH!!!!! REALLY?????? you have GOT to be EFFIN' KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

Then, the kicker? Once her $87 purchase has been rung up? You guessed it, my pet peeve of all pet peeves. She then pulls out her check book, asks the date, and slowly begins scripting a check to pay for the purchase.

Me, still in my head, amazing self restraint here: **Oh. My. God. I think my head is going to explode. I have been standing here 10 minutes waiting on this woman!**

I pinch the bridge of my nose, as if it might help reduce the exploding head I felt coming on. For the love of Mike, I only have one item here and I have been waiting for 10 minutes while this woman has a personal shopper to assist her. Oh, yes, manager, I will let you check me out over there. How nice of you to ask. And with my debit card and one item I am done before she gets her check written. 

All this led me to contemplate whether it is OK to give one customer bad service in the process of giving someone else exceptional service. Yes, I am a philosopher that way. What do y'all think?

So tomorrow when I have to climb the big ole hill to Cherry Hall, I hope I have an easier time than yesterday. I walked a different route which was one extremely steep hill rather than one moderate steep hill turn right and another moderate steep hill. Seriously? It made a big difference and  I almost passed out before I got to the top. Honestly. I had to stop for a moment, well several moments, because I got dizzy and my legs felt like rubber. When will I ever learn?


  1. As I am reading your blog, to my right is a Febreze as that reads: Cat Urine Odors, Eliminate Unwanted Pet odors with Febreze Pet Odor Eliminator. www.febreze.com

    nice touch


  2. LOL. Not enough Febreze in the world to help these folks.

  3. Oh, that is SO GROSS! But congratulations on the bag! I'll make sure Leah doesn't pour cat pee on it before she mails it!