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Thanks for visiting Tinfoil Magnolia, a blog about my life, times, marriage, friendships and all the strange things that happen to me and with me. I hope you find something here that will encourage you, inspire you or at the least entertain you. And if it doesn't today, check back tomorrow because, my life? honestly...

Saturday, May 29

Self Flagellation

Today I am struggling with beating myself up (or not beating myself up) over not working my schedule this week. It has been a crazy busy week with a lot to be done on the homefront. My first real test and I threw my commitments out the window. I didn't walk at all this week, although the weather and my sleep patterns haven't been cooperative. I didn't write every day, rather I spent time on housework. Granted, the house work needed to be done, but still, I feel like I should have been able to get both done.  I have not eaten well at all. And, most importantly, by even thinking these things I am breaking the commitment to not beat myself up mentally when I feel disappointed in myself.

I am working on being as understanding with myself as I am with others. I am pretty forgiving as a friend, barring some extreme circumstances, and I feel that I owe myself at a minimum the slack I would give someone else, right? But it is so hard not to hear that voice saying "what the hell have you been doing all day? You call that writing? Why isn't your bathroom clean? You ate half a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips? How could you not walk, what could be easier? Did you find a job yet?" Patience, Marsha, patience.

I need to figure out what the balance is in self discipline and living in the moment. Where the line is between forcing myself to keep a schedule and trying to adapt as life changes. Any suggestions?


  1. Girlfriend, I am soooo much harder on myself than I am on others. I would never treat my friends the way I mentally treat myself. Why do we do that?

  2. Honey, I know! And knowing us both I can say that we are pretty wonderful ladies!! :) Practically related we're so wonderfully alike. ;)
    We need to start a group for that. Oh, wait, there is one...it's called the insane asylum.

  3. Now just stop judging and stop having "limits" on yourself - your life. Trust me, living life is far more important than exactly how we live it - if that makes any sense at all. Trust me.