Why a 35 year old is NOT a 42 year old

I just want to talk about being 40-something as compared to, I don't know, 30-something. I am increasingly saying whatever the heck I want, anytime, anywhere. I just had someone say to me recently that their 35 year old wife "is basically the same" as a 40 year old wife, and I wholeheartedly disagree. Maybe I just have a jump start on 60 or maybe it is just a leftover from my 2 year battle with depression, I don't know. Whatever the case, I am just just really convinced that I am going to end up being "that" little old lady. You know the one.

This thought first occurred to me when I was still living in Pennsylvania. I was out working in the yard one afternoon, pulling weeds and such, and had just thrown on a pair of shoes with what I had been wearing to school that day. (Yes school, I went back to school at 38, I so rocked it) So, my outfit consisted of the following: A gray t-shirt that said "Rock-n-Roll Royalty" a black windbreaker (which said H.A.R.D on the back hee hee), a knee length denim skirt and OH, yes the boots I pulled on as I walked out of the garage. A pair of green and pink plaid Wellies (rain boots for my southern friends) that came almost up to my knees. I threw on an old hat, sort of a black version of Gilligan's, to keep my hair from blowing around.  When I came in I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and thought "Good Lord! How many of my neighbors drove by and saw me this way?!"  I immediately knew that in the grand scheme of things, once I got into the nursing home, (or most likely before) I would be exactly like the Ouiser character from Steel Magnolias. It isn't a goal, just something I suspect will happen whether I want it to or not.

For example, several weeks ago we attended the SoKy Book Festival. I had a really good time and the last thing we did was chat with 2 hilarious female writers (holla! Stephanie and Lauretta!) so I was in a really good mood. We stopped at a nearby Japanese restaurant for sushi and when I ordered a glass of wine the waiter asked me to see my ID. Now, let me preface this by saying that this is a college town and I know they most likely ID almost everyone without an AARP card. I never for one minute thought that he thought I was anywhere close to 21, but the request still made me smile. As I reached for my wallet, the waiter burst out laughing "OH, NO, I am just kidding...hahahaha....I don't need to see it." Wha-ah? Really?! My husband and I just laughed but as he walked away I looked at hubby, laughed and said, "It is a good thing I had a really good day today. That was kind of rude! On a normal day, I would have gone....OFF...on him." We laughed and made the usual "good thing I am on my meds" comments.

But it made me think how, when I had my wisdom teeth out recently, I asked the doctor why I was still in so much pain (turned out to be dry socket). He was obviously tired of dealing with me and my questions and said "You are in pain because I just pulled 4 TEETH OUT OF YOUR JAW!!" and I literally said, "NO SHIT, Sherlock, I mean...why am I STILL in pain." Now, let me just say that I never would have said that to a doctor in my 30's and though I am sure the pain had something to do with it, I still can't believe I came out with that so quickly.

Then, not a month after that incident I stopped in at a small town paint/wallpaper/flooring store that sells Benjamin Moore paint, my personal favorite. The guy behind the counter was friendly enough and asked how he could help. I said we were thinking of installing cork floors in our kitchen. Now, we've run into a lot of resistance in SoKy with the cork flooring. They are a bit behind the national trending toward "green" alternatives, so I have to admit I may have been a bit defensive. So, he said "Never sold any. I mean, I have samples and I can order it but I have NEVER sold it to anyone." So, I went toward the back to look at paint chips. When he came back there to ask if I was doing OK I said "Well, I am looking for a gray, that is kind of beige, but grey at the same time. You know? The kind everyone is painting with now?" Him: "Well, good luck with that." Me (thinking WTF????!!!!!!!! and with my best southern drawl) "Well, you're just ALL KINDS of help today, aren't you???" He sort of looked at me and I laughed to take the pressure off, but it's out there. I said it. Without even thinking twice.

So, I say to you, this is the #1 reason that a 35 year old is not a 42 year old. REALLY not. You just come out with things, that filter, either disappears or makes you not care anymore. Like on Tuesday when I was standing in line at Wendy's and some woman who is obviously too lazy or too good to wait in line like the rest of us said "Do they only have ONE cashier taking orders? That's what I thought." She turned to leave but I said "Yeah, well, there's only ONE cash register to take orders on so...." It just popped out. I swear.....it's gonna get me in trouble some day! My life...honestly!

(Oh, as for the other differences in 35 and 40-somethings, you'll have to ask my husband about those!)